Mono?

Blah, Blah, Blah, I had mono.  The mono test came back negative, but my IgG test said that I have had mono before.  On this particular test, if you score over 21.9 then it shows that mono anti-bodies are present and therefore you have had mono.  My score was 600.  What?  The doctor guess that I must have had if very recently.  Of all the tests that they did, this was the best possible situation.  Yay!  The strange thing is my joint pain and that I'm still filling symptoms and that I still have petechiae from time to time.  Well the Doctor said that sometimes you immune system takes some time to heal.

In the mean time, some things that I'm trying to do for my immune system is get enough sleep.
Ideally from 9:30pm-5:30am with a 30 minute nap in the afternoon.

I'm doing push-ups, mountain climbers, yoga bicycles, and planks in the morning before I get going.  I'm starting slow with these and each month I'll add to it.  I'd like to jump right in to exercising again, but I know I have to take it slow.  I love the exercise and the way it makes me feel.

On Mondays I teach my yoga class.  On the other days of the week, I'm going to start walking.  First starting with a mile and progressively adding to that amount.

In the evenings, if my husband is home, we'll go for a 30 minute walk.  (except on Tuesdays, I'll go to a 60 minute yoga class.)  If he's out of town, I'll do some yoga at home for about 20-30 minutes.  I really love exercising in the evening!

In January, I'll start adding a yoga class on Fridays.

Before bed I do a series of slow deep yoga stretches.  The bedtime routine is, standing forward fold, standing wide angle forward fold C, pigeon/king pigeon, child pose, thread the needle, wide angle forward fold and then to the side to each leg, bridge pose, happy baby, supine garudasana twist, legs on the bed then butterfly while on my back, and then savasana.  After this my mind is quiet and ready to commune with the Divine.  It's beautiful!

Now as far as nutrition.  I'm really into intuitive eating so it is difficult to say exactly what I eat, but the things I really try to fit in are
1.  Warm lemon water first thing in the morning
2.  Fresh carrot/apple/grapefruit juice
3.  Green smoothie with two huge handfuls of spinach

The rest I try to have good meals that taste good.  I enjoy eating lots of vegetables and fruits.  I try to add them whenever I can.  I also try to avoid white flour/rice and red meat.

That's the plan.  I hope it works and I stop ending up in bed with a fever and aches.

Soon, I'm going to tell you our story about a dog and how this is going to be THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

Day of Reckoning or Is It?

The past three days have been some of the longest of my life.

They have been lonely.
Three days ago they took a lot of blood from my body.

They were testing to see if I had cancer or an autoimmune disease among other ailments.

I haven't had anyone to share my worries with.

I have felt alone and have tried to hold it together by myself.

My husband hasn't seemed to really want to talk about it and likes to say I'm a hypochondriac.  And my children are too young and my parents too old.  Only one friend knows, but what can she do?

It's one of those things where there are people all around me, but I'm an island.

I have turned to food, one of my old friends that i haven't let come in to comfort me in such a long time - ever since Intuitive Eating became a part of my life.  One of the main principles  of intuitive eating is to eat when you're hungry.  Well, Wednesday night I was not hungry, but I ate to numb my feelings.  It worked and I have to say that I'm thankful that I could do that.  Some would say that I should have faced my feelings and taken them head on.  There will be a time for that, but right then, the past three days, I've needed numbing.  I've used food, social media and the computer to distract.  I can't face my feelings now and the biggest reason is because I don't know what I will be facing.

It could be nothing.

It could be cancer.

I feel a slight paralysis.  I seem to be waiting, balancing on the edge of the cliff, not knowing which direction I will fall.  I want to act like everything is normal, and maybe it is, but since I can't yet pretend that I'm fine and I can't yet pretend that everything is not fine, I teeter back and forth between the two, not able to believe either.

I pray that the doctor will call.  That he will have answers.  And that I can then work my way out of whatever I find myself in.

My mother calls.  I want so badly to tell her.  She has her own problems and I don't even know if this is a problem.  She just got her chemotherapy port out from her battler with breast cancer.  She is a wonderful example to me, but  I know she worries about me more than about herself.  I can't tell her of the uncertainty that I'm facing.

I wait.

And I wait.

The Eye of The Tornado

We all feel things in our bodies - different variations of wellness.  Sometimes we get headaches.  Sometimes we are tired.  Sometimes we have a harder time recovering froma workout and wake up sore.  There are variances in our lives and in our bodies and most of these things only get a passing nod from our consciences.  For a split second our attention is turned inwardly - the sensation is acknowledged and then we move on.  This is what has been happening to me.  I would get a little fever.  I'd barely notice it as I baked, carpooled, and cleaned.  Sometimes, though, I'd rest for a time.  That usually did the trick and I would be good to go for the rest of the day.  Sometimes the fever was there the next day, but not usually more than 3 or so days in a row.  Then several days would pass.  We went through a time where a child would get sick and I'd have one of my fevers and I'd rest while they reseted.  Then in about five more days, another child would be sick and I realized that I didn't really feel that great either.  So I'd rest while they rested and soon we'd both feel better again.  After several episodes like this, I found myself seeing the bigger picture.  The picture that was of me getting fever after fever.  They were always low-grade fevers and so mostly consisted of headaches, but had a hint of that crappy feeling that fevers offer so generously.

Then just this week I got another one of my fevers, but this time I was SO bugged.  I needed to get things done, but I felt just crappy enough that I found myself resting in bed.  And then after I taught my yoga class, I looked down at my upper arm and say them.  They were there again and I wondered, for the first time if they could be connected to my fevers.  "They" are petechiae.  Small little broken blood vessels in a little clump.  These little babies had been a part of my life for several months.  Something I just ignored.  One time at a family reunion, I got them so bad that it looked like blood.  My husband told me that I bruise easily.  I accepted this, but not completely.  It stayed in the back of my mind as odd.

Another one of my pains was my finger joints.  When I would push on my cell phone, the joints of my fingers would ache slightly.  I attributed this to popping my knuckles for so many years.  I stopped popping my knuckles.

All these little symptoms were like wind, a small breeze that was easily ignored.  But then suddenly, I was able to see that it was more of an seemingly organized swirl, as though now I was looking from above and noticing that the wind I had been experiencing was part of a little tornado.  It occurred to me that these things may be connected.

I mentioned my symptoms to my friend who is an oncologist.  He suggested that I get them checked out sooner rather than later.  He suggested getting my blood count measured (this signifies cancer) and also tests to determine if there is an autoimmune disease.  I made an appointment for that day.

I met with Dr. Taylor.  He seemed thoughtful and really took in what I was saying.  This I was grateful for and yet I kind of half expected him to say that it's probably nothing and to go home and just see what happens.  Instead he agreed that a CBC (complete blood count test) should be given as well as several autoimmune tests along with a thyroid and mono test.

The phlebotomist did a wonderful job.  For this I was grateful - even though it has been almost a day and my arm still hurts every time I bend at my elbow.

They took out a lot of blood.  That makes me nervous.  It makes me nervous that they are taking this seriously.  I have one more day to wait for the results.  My thoughts go from ignoring it (I've hardly told anyone what is going on.) and then wondering what I would do if it actually was cancer or an autoimmune disease.  "This wasn't supposed to happen to me," is the next voice I hear - even though in reality, as far as I know, nothing has actually happened.  And then the quiet thought of "This wasn't supposed to be the story of my life."  And then I wait and I wonder if this will change everything.  I wonder if I will have what it takes to take care of my family and some big diagnoses.  There are lots of worries, probably  most of them empty, but the fact that they are testing them is something that makes me nervous.  I keep wanting to share my worries with my mom, but I know that it's unfair.  She will think the worse and if it turns out to be nothing, then I will have worried her for nothing.  There is something strangely relieving to know someone is doing some of the worrying for you, but not this time.  This time I will have to do this alone.  I will worry alone and I will wait for the call from the doctor that is supposed to come tomorrow.   The waiting is becoming painful.  I just want to know; that way I can jump into action whether that action is through educating myself or finding specialists that can help - whatever.  And yet a part of me doesn't want everything to change.  A part of me is okay with not facing reality, but it is a small part.

And so I sit.  It is quiet as in the eye of the tornado. And I wait and wait.

This is Where We Live

At the bottom of a mountain with lots of space to explore.

The boys and I went on a "snake hunt" this evening.

 Even the cat came along.

One of the Best Family Hikes In Utah

This is the best hike for families!

And it has made it into my top ten favorite hikes.

Little Wild Horse Canyon

in Goblin Valley, Utah

It's pretty much flat.

It's shaded most of the time.

And the changes in rocks keeps everyone entertained.

Toward the beginning of the hike, 

there was this circular crater.

Apparently, it wasn't there in the past - it just formed in the last year.

There was a quick and scary way to go around the pit

and a longer, less scary way to go around.

Stafford(6), Porter(10) and I went the long way.

Glenn, Warrick(8) and Christian(13) went the short way.

The part where they had to jump from ledge to ledge helped me make my route decision.

I don't do leaps over deep crevices.

I loved this hike.

We walked for over an hour,

sat and ate trail mix,

then walked back down.

I Miss My Mom

My mom came to visit at the end of last week.

We watched Porter's track meet.

We went to BYU Women's Conference.

And just enjoyed time together.

My mom is light hearted.  I love that about her.  She naturally doesn't take things too seriously.  She didn't complain and is probably one of the easiest people in the world to get a long with.

She is friendly.  She talks to others.  She gives strangers compliments.  She tells them how cute their kids are.  She smiles.

One woman on a bus next to my mom started telling her about her problems.  Everyone has hard lives.  That woman didn't know that my mom just had 6 rounds of chemotherapy and was wearing a wig.  Mom cheered her on and gave her encouragement.

When she left, I missed her.  I missed her spirit.  I think in a very, very, very small way, that is how the Nephites must have felt when Christ left them.  What a blessing in our lives are people who, through their goodness, we can feel we understand Christ a little better.  Those are the people that when the bell tolls for them, it tolls for all mankind.

Both grandmas got to see Porter run.

Mom helped with crafts at Home Depot before she left.

A day in the life of a homemaker

That's the lizard cage.

That's our cat.

And if you look very closely, that's Ironman -  one of the many Lego figures that seem to be perpetually scattered about.

Stafford came home from school and after almost peeing his pants on our doorstep, he made his usual mad dash to the bathroom.

This is normal.

Then the abnormal sneaking here and there started.

"Don't look in here!" he said as I passed his bedroom door.

Then he would creep past me, and dash somewhere else to gather supplies.

Then he presented me with a gift.

I had assumed it was from school and was one of the mother's day gifts that I love to recieve and asked if I should save it for Sunday.

"No, it's your birthday present since I forgot to get you anything."

Still thinking I would uncover the class craft, 

I found this.

A little white rock!

Then we had lunch.

This week I pre-packed salads with tons of toppings to make eating them a snap.

It worked.

I ate it.

And it was a snap.

Stafford then dug through the cabinet that I keep for rotating church toys, that I never rotate, and found a little magnet board.

He used pretend play and I finished up some of my "to do" list.

A couple of Porter's friends came over.

Just like the cat,

they gathered around the lizards.

That night we ordered Zubs subs (our favorite turkey and avocado), bread sticks and pizza.

We made it a family party night.

Glenn is off to Europe for 2.5 weeks and we wanted him to go out with a bang.

We had treats and a good old fashioned game of RISK.

There were no fights and that is a beautiful thing when it comes to this game.

The boys said their good-byes as Glenn tucked them all in bed.

This is the longest he's ever been gone.

I've got a good game plan.

We're going to be fine,

but I'm sure going to miss him.

When he leaves for these long trips,

I'm reminded of the little things in life.

I'm reminded of how much Glenn contributes to our family and how blessed I am.

A friend of mine's husband passed away suddenly at 44.

I'm reminded that nothing is for certain.

I'm reminded to not take for granted those in our lives.

I'm reminded that the "simple life" is beautiful.

Are Steroids the Right Choice?

For years I've had to modify my yoga poses to accommodate my wrists.

They hurt if I put pressure on them.

I've tried everything.

A Massage - aka heaven, but it didn't help

Essential Oils

A Deep tissue massage - aka Brazilian torture (the therapist is from Brazil)

Chiropractor who had a special procedure to help ganglion cysts - nothing.

And even a Chinese Mystery Paste.

So I finally went to an osteopathic doctor who specializes in wrists.

He was nice.

But before I knew it, I agreed to let him give me a shot of steroids to the wrist.

Going into a doctor's office and getting a procedure that I had not researched to death is not my style.

But I did it

and almost immediately felt a touch or regret.

I probably would have ended up researching and coming back and doing it,

but I like to know exactly what is happening and why before it happens.

As I drove home, pain began to spread from the wrist into my hand and forearm.

It was a dull heavy pain.

There is extra fluid in the joint so that can cause pain.

It should subside soon.

I hope this was the right decision.

I would love to have my wrist back and to be able to do some hand balance poses that I've been longing to do again.

I put on a wrist brace and it seemed to help.

I'm pretty sure this is the adult psychological equivalent of a band-aide.

Suddenly, it just felt better.

The World is Their Playground

 These boys have been bouncing off the walls lately.

Every time I look, they seem to have organized some kind of a sport out of household items.

I have banned baseball and golf as I don't allow swinging long poles in the house.

Believe me, it's a good rule.

This morning, they took a small ball and were trying to make a basket in the chandelier above our table.

They boys surrounded the table and if they missed, there was a mad dash, thumps and dives, to see who would get the ball next - no turn taking only the fastest/closest man wins the ball to try for the next shot.

Yesterday I bought an inflatable "donut" so sit on since I mysteriously hurt my tail bone. 

It has been heaven, but I kept finding it like this.

They created a ring toss game using the cat scratcher.  

It was complete with rules and a point scale.

Sunday was volleyball.

They went and got some ribbon and tied it on one end of the family room to the other.

This was the net.

They kept score,

started a tournament 

and became really competitive.

It was giggles,

sweat, and bonding.

After the championship game of the tournament, there were tears,

but the 2nd place finisher tried to be a good sport, despite his heartache and red eyes.

(I must add that there were actually several championship games.  Every time he lost, he called for a "do-over".  

The other brother obliged.

The games were all close.

But in the end,

age won.)

Day 1 - Get Healthy

For quite sometime I have been trying to lose weight.  I lost around 20 pounds last year and none this year, but at this point it has become more about health than weight.  This is a paradigm shift for me.

So here is my journey.  It didn't start today, but I'm documenting starting today.  I decided to document my triumphs and set backs.

I'm going to feed my family dinner right now (canned chili and boxed macaroni and cheese - I know not the best, but the kids were out of school today and I took them to a science museum downtown and now I'm tired).

First of all.  This is what I eat.
meat
eggs
fruit
vegetables

That is not all I eat, but what I focus on.

This is how the day went
BF - lemon water
eggs and quinoa
Snack to eat on the way to science center - green smoothie - little fruit
Snack - Larabar Peanut Butter and a little nibble of my kid's PB and J sandwich
Lunch (3pm) - white chili with LOTS of corn chips This is where it all went wrong because I was so hungry.  Frito's and salsa and about 6 maple cookies.  Blah.  I love the cookies, but it all gave me a headache.
Dinner - still full from my Large/Late lunch.  Pineapple and cucumbers.  One more cookie - what?!  Why you ask, well because I was listening to a talk about no gluten and I panicked and wanted some unless I decided that I was going to cut it out altogether.  Which is why I'm not prohibiting anything from my diet.  I'm just focusing on what I am going to eat.

Still have a headache.  I think I'll go to bed.
Good news of the day is that my husband got a job back in our home state.  We can move back into the country and be by family again!!!!  AND we're making lots more money!!!  Good job hubby!!!

PS  I have three warts and lichen schlerosis and I suspect adrenal fatigue.  I'll talk about supplements some other time.

The ups and DOWNS

I'm writing this post to remind me that hard times come.  It is normal.  I want to look back at this post and remember that though it was hard, things "came to pass" and things got better.

1.  My husband is out of town.
2.  My dad was in the hospital yesterday for anemia and got 2 blood transfusions.  They don't know the reason, but are doing tests.
3.  My mom had to go to the hospital today for racing heart and abnormal beat.  They don't know the reason, but are experimenting on her.
4.  My mother-in-law announced today that she has breast cancer.
5.  My 3 year old decided to potty train this weekend, with all of this going on.  He refuses to put on diapers.  Needless to say I have had a few extra messes to clean up and a few extra clothes to wash.
6.  My husband had a job interview for our "dream job".  We don't know how it went.  We were hoping to find out after the interview, but they said they are going to get back to us next week.  This is a big deal.  This will decide if we get to move back home, closer to our parents, or if we will need to remain out of the country.  Just writing this makes my heart beat with nerves.
7.  We are still new in this country and I don't have any close friends to rely on.

This entire weekend I have been feeling out of sorts.  I was feeling lonely.  I ate a lot.  I finally asked myself, what I'm trying to feed with the food.  I needed comfort.  I decided to turn to spiritual comfort.  I went to lds.org.  I read conversion stories on my email that I've been wanting to get to.  I went on ksl.com and watched miraculous stories of survival through the huge tornados they have been having.  I prayed and I cried.  As I prayed I tried to picture my Father in Heaven.  I tried to picture him as a loving man, much like my father, and how he would react to one of his daughters asking him for favors.  I believe God wants to bless us.  I believe that there is a buffet of blessings out there for us, waiting to be devoured, if we will just ask for them.  I also believe that God knows what is best for us.  Sometimes we think a "cake" looks really good and we want it with all of our hearts, but sometimes that "cake" is not what is best for us.  I get that, but I'm asking for the "cake".  I'm fasting to show my desire.  I believe God is a God of miricles and that he can help us get a job, if it is His will.  I believe this.  I'm praying for this and for my family.

After all the searching I'm reminded of how important those family relationships are.  That is all that really matters.  I have a strong desire to build those.  I have a desire to reach out to my parents, my husband's parents, my brothers and all my in-laws.  And especially my boys.  

Birthday Eve

Tomorrow is my birthday.  I'm going to be 34.  It seems like a good age.  Not too intimidating.  I'm still in my early, or maybe mid thrities.  At least I'm still closer to 30 than 40, even using correct rounding principles.  I'm excited.  I'm excited for this coming year.  I see good things.  I've had a lot of change in my life over the past 6 months and I'm at a good place.  I'm excited for life.  I'm setting goals and I'm acheiving them.  There are new things on the horizon.  Great things are coming and I'm excited to see them.

I have learned that happiness is linked with expectations.  I've had birthdays where I have expected too much, especially since becoming a mom.  I expected to be pampered.  A one year old doesn't care that it is your birthday.  He will still want to be served, taken care of and will most definately still poop a lot.  I have ended the day of my birth feeling sad and under appreciated because I expected too much.  Maybe this seems sad to some of you, but really it shouldn't be. 

I tell my husband exactly what I expect.  This year it was the cake of my choice.  This year I asked him to make a Double Chocolate Mouse Cake.  That's it.  That's all I want.  He is a good cook so I know it will be good and I've been drooling over the picture for weeks waiting for this moment.  I also will buy me something.  I like to do that because then I get exactly what I want.  Unromantic, but perferred.  Then I will go to the store and buy myself those Lofthouse sugar cookies and maybe cupcakes too.  I love them both and don't eat them except once a year.  So excited.  I'm going to a potluck/play group tomorrow so I can bring the left overs, if there is any.

I'm noticing how much revolves around food.  Junk food.  Oh well.  I try to eat healthy most of the time.  Sometimes I don't want to.  On my birthday, I don't want to, but I will still get my fruits and veggies in and maybe a healthy fat and protein here or there too.

I will still clean and I will still cook for my family and I will still change poopy diapers.  And I'll be happy because I expected to do those things.  If someone gives a little extra help, I'll be grateful, but I don't expect it.  My boys are getting older so they do TRY to help out.  They are sweet and I appreciate any effort they exert. 

I'm excited for my birthday.  It's going to be a great day and it's going to be a great year.

Speaking of Cakes. Two of my boys had a joint Lord of the Rings Party. (Even though the younger one had never seen the movie, my oldest son tried to fill him in on how cool it is.) One is the ring and the other is of a Hobbit home in Bag End.

Meteor Seen Round the State

Our Experience with the meteor...
My husband played basketball until late into the night. He got home and said his prayers. The second he looked up he saw a bright flash behind the blinds of the window. His first thought was that someone was behind our house and their headlights flashed on the window. (We live against a mountain with no backyard neighbors and a fire access road lining the back of our yard.) He quickly looked out the window and no one was there. It was the fastest get away ever. That made him so worried. He spent the next 1/2 hour sure that there was an intruder trying to get into our house or doing something weird. He COULD NOT figure it out. It wasn't until the news the next morning that the mystery was solved. We laugh now because he is not usually the type to get scared.

June Days

This June has been the best June I have ever had - weather wise. It has been mild with lots of rain. I LOVE rain in the summer time.

My 5yo has been playing kickball. His personality is such that if he gets his feelings hurt (which happens easily) by a teacher/authority figure then he will NEVER return to where it happened, church, sports, a friends, you name it. He is also shy in new situations - to the point that he refuses to emerge from hiding behind my legs - unfortunately I give him better coverage than I'd like. :) Anyway, I talked one of his friends to sign-up for kickball with him, Korbin Anderson in hopes that Porter would actually participate. (He wouldn't participate when we put him in soccer.) Anyway, the first day of kickball my hubby took him. P. said, "I'm not going to play." But before he could hide his bubbly, happy coach says, "Who is this!?" She acted so excited to see him and from there on out he has loved to play. His coach made all the difference. He is intense on the coach and since he is tall, he is about a head taller than everyone else. He runs and almost gets every ball. His new trick, since he figured out that most times he has a lot of time as he runs from base to base is to run in pretend slow motion. If the ball gets close though, he hustles to safety. It has been so nice to see him so excited to participate in something. We will request his same coach for soccer. She was super surprised to learn that he is often hesitant and shy in situations like this. She brought out the best in him. Who knew that a kickball coach could do so much for her players at such a young age.

My 8yo has been playing baseball. He loves to participate in most things and be in the middle of the show. He has already moved on mentally to football. He loves to practice throwing the football with his dad. Football is his dad's sport. His twice a week games will be over tomorow and we will have almost two months break from sports.

We have had a huge crop of cherries. Something that has kept my boys busy these last few days is selling cherries on the corner. They made $21. They also had lots of adventures including being caught out in a downpour and having to hide under a tree for safety. I happened to be with them at that moment. Ahh, the adventures of childhood.

Our neighbor doesn't have kids and has allowed my kids to have free reign on his tramp. We have never had one so they spend a lot of time bouncing, playing games and trying new tricks. Sometimes our neighbor is dog watching and brings out the little dog, Marley, and the boys spend lots of time running with the dog.

Another adventure we had one day this month was finding dogs. Early one morning a little gray dog showed up. The boys spent the morning with the neighbor, Brooklyn Day, playing with the little dog. They fed it in hopes that it would stay around longer. Then they took off in search of it's home and found the owners. Then after lunch a large golden dog showed up. They played with that dog too when they realized it had a collar. They called the owner. He said it would come home on his own. I should have told him, "Not if it's tied up in my backyard." smile. They sadly snet that dog on his way too. They love dogs and my 3yo still misses Suey, the little gray dog.

It has been a full month. We have also been going to karate at a neighbor's house. 5yo and 3yo love to go to that. 5yo also made better friends with a neighbor named, Tate Gifford.

8yo still waits for the time he can play with his best friend and fellow homeschooled child, Dylan Jones. He also has a new love for Harry Potter. He watched his first one this week and that is all he thinks about. I'm hoping it will get him to want to read more. I let him watch 3 of them and told him he needs to read the books now before he watches them. We'll see.

Focusing on me, focuses on them

I have four boys under the age of eight.
We are building a new home and are acting as our general contractor.
My husband sold his business and is now starting a new job at a start-up company.
My one year old still does not sleep through the night.
I home school our children.
I eat when I'm tired, stressed and overwhelmed. (Things that happen often.)

So that is where I'm starting.

I am 5'6" tall.
I weigh 170lbs.
I want to weigh 140.

I want to eat more healthful foods.

The reasons I want to loose the weight are...

1. There are not many people around here that homeschool and they have a preconcieved idea that homeschooling moms are frumpy and weird. I would like to look good so I can be an example that home schooling is do-able and we're not weird.

2. When I eat under control I feel better about myself. When you feel good about yourself you are more patient and kind to others.

3. I love fashion and I would like to wear cute stuff that looks cute on me.

Here are the ways I plan on achieving this goal.

I need to be more regimented - this is something I did very well until I had children.

Each Sunday I will plan what I will eat for the next week (Saturday is when we do our shopping so I have to plan in advance).

I will also plan on the calendar -
weekly out time: visit the library and read, shop, shop on-line, blog on-line, go with friends, etc. (this helps me want to be thin - even if I'm shopping for books, kids clothes, or home decor and even if I don't buy anything - just regrouping)

weekly date: I long for a good relationship there - connection helps me not eat to try to get that.

monthly temple: this always makes me feel good

Each Morning-
I will exercise
Read Beck Diet Solution tips, blogs and response cards
Write down my food for the day
Get Ready for the day

During the Babies Nap-
Response cards, goals and pictures
I will read scriptures (20 min)
clean the house
do the laundry
cook dinner
then if there is time I will work on my 'to do' list and alternate it with
organization (10 min)
blog journal (15 min)
scrapbook (10 min) I put pictures in slip covers and every now nad then I type a story to go with a picture.
email
write - either for my blog, journal or scrapbook (20 min)
visit other blogs (10 min)
Read - if there is any other time which there usually isn't.

After dinner is reserved to do outside cleaning and tidy
Around 8:00 I will get myself ready for bed (teeth, face, pray). Then I will read or spend time with my kids. At 9:00 we will pray and get the kids ready for bed. Then I read my book of choice (10 min) and then my response cards, goals and reasons.

If I eat what is on my card I know I will lose weight. Dr. Beck says to weigh yourself every day, but I know that I work better if I don't weigh, but just follow my plan.

My goal is to be 145 by January 1st.

I have to do these things. I have to be strong. I have to be selfish. I have to look out for me. I don't want to be a fat person - that is not how I pictured my life.

Dora Bubble Bath Ad

I thought this looked like an ad for these bubbles. This is 1yo.

I feel so much better today!!!! Four days of being yucky sick has made normal morning sickness feel not so bad.

Stomach Flu

I have been throwing up on Wednesday and Thursday and then Friday and today I've got loose stools. Just a fun little update ;)

DH spent the day cleaning and even made 6yo a banjo from wood that he has been asking for.

Last night 6yo and 3yo and dh slept in a tent in the backyard after roasting marshmallows in our fire pit. I wanted so bad to join them, but I just couldn't pull myself away from the bathroom for very long. :( when I went out they were each taking turns telling stories around the fire. 1yo sat cuddled with dh. Those are the times that warm the heart.

Roller Coaster

I feel I'm on a roller coaster, but I'm grateful for that. I'm thankful that even though I have rough days that I still have not so hard days. Sunday and Monday I felt very sick and was afraid that this was how things would be for four mor weeks, but today I felt quite a bit better and was able to get more done. I did some cleaning, ran to the music store to get 6yo a new piano book and took my kids to a water play area to meet some friends. I took the afternoon and evening easy.

6yo and 3yo made a mouse trap because 6yo is determined to have a pet that he catches from the wild. We will put it out tonight and see how it works.

What is New

Here is what is new here in our house.

I’m teaching 6yo piano. I had initially planned on waiting until he was 7 ½ because I heard the older the better, but he has been asking and the other day he brought over some of my piano music and said, “Mom, I just need to know what each note means and then I can play a song. Can you teach me?” So I went and got him some beginner books and he has been excited since. Of course, it has only been two days so it is still quite novel. I started piano when I was six, but a lot of teachers recommend age eight.

I have been looking for swim lessons for the older boys, but everywhere close only has lessons that are every single day for two weeks. I don’t like that because it takes over your life for those two weeks. I would rather a month of twice a week. Well I decided to teach them myself. (A random fact about me is that I started swimming at a very young age and when I was in high school I got my first state title when I was a sophomore in a relay swimming race and then I took my first individual first place when I was a junior in high school and defended my title my senior year.) SO I plan on teaching them when I start feeling a little better. Hopefully that will be in a week or two. It is better to teach with about four kids so I might invite a friend and ask her to watch my 1yo while I teach the older kids. We will see what I feel up to. I may just teach my two in the evening when dh can watch 1yo.

We went to meet a midwife. I really like her. She has attended over 3000 births. We heard the baby’s heart rate and that was really exciting. DH was singing the entire way home.

DH and I went to play games tonight with three other couples. We met at a friends’ house that don’t have kids and the rest of us got sitters. It was lots of fun and a great break. Things like that always make coming home and being patient with the kids so much easier. The cat had an accident in the house while we were gone, but other than that, everything was fine. An interesting side note, you can sure learn a lot about marriage relationships when people play game together. Plato said something like you can learn more about a person in one hour a play than you can in one year of conversation.

I’m really looking forward to feeling well again. I really want to get on a schedule again and feel productive. I devised a new one for the coming school year today. I’m excited to implement it.

I also want to stop eating ALL the time. Just before I got pregnant I was really good at restricting and controlling my eating to healthy amounts. I will not change that now, but during my second trimester I plan on implementing Dr. Beck’s Diet Solutions and not restricting, but choosing more wisely and judiciously.

I finished Jane Eyre. I read part of it and listened to the other part on CD. The reader on the CD was so excellent that it felt like I was watching a movie. I would like to own the CD. She reads so well that I went back to the parts I read myself and listened to them with her being the reader. She gave them new spirit and excitement. If you are looking for a book on tape I HIGHLY recommend Jane Eyre.

Time 4 Learning

I said I would write about time4learning so I’m doing it now.
My son uses Time4learning during the summer. It is an internet site that is geared toward the individual student. My son works on reading, math, social studies, and science and can do it all by himself. He loves it and looks forward to doing it each time. After lesson time there is an added bonus of going to the “playground” where there are appropriate games to play. I feel his reading skills have improved and I think I will implement this program every summer. The site is time4learning.com, check it out.