My husaband has been applying to business school. It has been a long 4 months of study, essays and waiting. This Friday we found out from the last school that he did not get it. This is what he really wants to do. This is a great path to our future, but right now it is not an option. We are at a loss as to where to go next. I believe that a door will open, but right now we are seeing walls and doors locked tight. The future is hard to plan and to see. It is dark. I know that sometimes you have to step into the darkness before you see the light. That is what we are doing. We are researching, looking, asking questions to people. We are moving forward and praying.
So, once we found out the news, well, I gave myself a weekend long of "I can eat any thing I want" attitude. The truth is that I can always eat whatever I want. I can eat junk and I can eat lots of food without limits and self imposed "rules". I can choose that. The problem is that I CAN'T choose the outcome of such living. And the outcome showed on the scale today. I can rationalize all the reasons that it is okay to not eat the way I have planned, but the end result cannot be avoided. It is the law of nature. I need to remember that I can feel intitled to food. I can cope with food. But the end result will be disappointment. Next time I am sad, I hope that I can keep things in perspective and know that if I eat too much I will, in the end, become more sad than I was to begin with.
Once again, here are my goals.
Eat Slowly. Enjoy every bite. Sit down.
Read my response cards and reasons for why - every morning and night.
Eat a salad or vegetable before lunch and dinner.
Eat five times a day - no seconds.
No comments:
Post a Comment