What I Ate Monday

Breakfast: coconut chia granola with almond milk

After walk snack: banana

Lunch:turkey sandwich with nitrate free turkey slices from Oscar Mayer, 1/4 avocado, lettuce, garden tomatoes 1.75 apples 3 extra turkey slices 1/2 slice of bread (had trouble stopping the eating thing - just wanted to keep going, but I stopped before it got crazy)


Snack: apples, Honey Nut Cheerios with almond milk,

Dinner: Cafe Rio Pork Taco

 Exercise: 40 minutes of walking
               20 Minutes of yoga

 Note: My husband is out of town. I'm trying to hold everything together. Four boys and myself to think of and get here and there - not to mention the homework! I don't know if it's the stress of being a "single mom" for a few days or what, but I couldn't get enough food. I wasn't hungry, just wanted comfort. My hat goes off to single moms. They are heroes and are amazing.

Week 3 Weigh-In

Beginning Weight: 168 Week 1 Weight: 164 (down 4) Week 2 Weight: 164.4 (up .4) Week 3 Weight: 162.4 (down 2) Total Pounds Lost: 5.6 pounds 13 pounds to goal

What I Ate - I finally feel good enough to function!

Breakfast - Coconut Chia Granola
                  30 Calorie Almond Milk

Lunch - Chicken Sandwich
             Two bites of chow mein

Snack - Green Smoothie

Dinner - Chili,
             Cornbread with a little butter and agave nectar
             Corn Chips

After Football Snack - Chili
                                 Corn Chips
(I've been doing so well not eating after dinner.  I will plan to do better tomorrow.)


Note - I still have congestion and I sound horrible, but I feel much better.  Finally no fever.  This restoration of my health has brought back my appetite.  But also my resolve to take care of my body.  This week I have eaten much less than I normally do and it was easy because I just didn't even want to eat.  I'm trying and making progress on developing habits of eating three full meals, one afternoon snack and not eating my kids' left-overs and not going back for seconds.  It is getting easier and I know I'm making progress.

What I Ate - Wednesday

Breakfast - Vanilla Granola from Nature's Path

                  30 calorie almond milk

                  I'm feeling slightly better today so this didn't satisfy as much as yesterday.

Lunch - Thai Food - Pad Thai and Chow Mein

Snack - More Pad Thai and a green smoothie

Dinner - Pad Thai

Snack after the football game - a couple of bites of homemade macaroni and cheese

                                             (I was hungry, but after a bite or two realized that my cold was making it so I couldn't taste it and since I couldn't taste it and I knew I'd be okay without it, I decided not to eat anymore and gave it to the cat.)

What I Ate - Still Sick, but getting better

Breakfast - French Vanilla Granola from Costco 

(It's lower in calories and fat than my normal coconut variety.  I figured since I don't have much of an appetite or taste ability, I'd take advantage of saving a few calories without really noticing.) 

                 30 calorie almond milk that I actually don't drink, but use it to wet the cereal.

Lunch - Marie Calendars Chicken Pot Pie - Single serving - I gave the top crust to my 5 year old.

             1/2 cup cottage cheese - 2% because the fat free is gross

Snack - Green Smoothie

Dinner - Homemade macaroni and cheese

              Cottage Cheese 

              Garden Tomatoes

               Broccoli

Note:  My husband's 20 year high school reunion is this weekend.  I sure wish I was a little thinner, but once again, I'm working on me from the inside out.  I'm going to look as cute as I can and present myself well.  I don't know why I care, but I guess I just want to look my best.  That is why I'm on this slow and steady journey - so that one day when I have a big event I will feel proud of all the hard work to get me looking my best.

Once again - I'm on a lifestyle journey, not a diet.
I can live the rest of my life with 3 good meals a day and a snack in the afternoon.  And I can live with sweets occasionally and really enjoying and savoring them. That is the life I want to live.  One where I enjoy food, but have a life rich of other interests and hobbies.  I want to be broader than one who just thinks about food and that is what I'm doing.  

I'm focusing on travel, clothes and serving in my church as fully as I can.  I'm focusing on making a difference with the people in my home and leaving a legacy.  I'm focusing on enjoying life and simply being me.

What are you focusing on?

Weigh-In

I might get to go to Europe in 5 weeks.  When I found this out I got all sorts of plans that I could lose 10 pounds in that time.  That would be great!  But the problem I have when I really concentrate on the result and not the method is that I start to binge a bit more.  I re-learned this and after a day of eating pizza, I was up .4 for for my weigh-in.  I guess it could be worse.

My focus for this coming week is to be
1.  No sweets and Chips - no matter what.  (It is not forever, just for right now.)
2.  Get a very clear mental picture of not just what I want to look like at goal, but how I'm going to act in certain situations.

Tomorrow is weigh-in and this is what I ate.

Breakfast - Coconut Chia Granola with 30 calorie Almond Milk

Lunch - 2 Pieces Little Caesars Pizza

Moroccan Chicken Salad

Dinner - le crouix soda water
3 pieces of left over pizza

Note:  My thin sister in law drinks this brand of soda water and I thought I would give it a try since it was on sale.  It was nasty but started to grow on me by the end of the can.  
Since I ate more for lunch than I planned, I thought I could get away with just drinking a fizzy drink as my meal.  That was a mistake.  I need to not punish myself like that by withholding food later for three reasons.  

1. It never works and I eat anyway - usually unhealthy foods because it was unplanned.  

2.  I need to respect my body and the need for it to have fuel to function.

3.  This is a lifestyle - NOT a diet.

What I Ate - Friday

Breakfast - one egg and toast

Lunch - Subway Turkey Sub

Dinner - Spaghetti Squash with sauce and cheese

left-over regular spaghetti

corn chips
french bread (3 with butter and one without)

What I Ate - Tuesday.2

Breakfast
2 cups of Coconut Chia Granola with a little 30 cal. Almond Milk

Lunch

Thai Food (I took my Kindergartener out for lunch)

Snack

Thai Food Again

Two spoonfuls of Nutella (What's that doing in my house anyway?!)

Dinner

Thai Food Again

Dried bananas (lots)

1/4 cup mac and cheese

A few handfuls of granola

Note

My husband has been out of town for three days now and we're all feeling it.  The boys miss him and they are driving me crazy. Also, I got a free coupon for a photo book at Shutterfly and had to finish it yesterday so I ignored the boys when they got home from school (I recipe for disaster.) and worked on the book.  It turned out great, but I sure paid for it with lots of grumpy boys.  

Anyway, I let emotional eating take over.  Something I will try better to keep in check.  Also, it could have been worse and that I am proud of.

Exercise

I was planning on a walk.  (Something that would have helped my emotional eating.)  But since the pest control guys were coming to spray my house I decided to clean so it wouldn't be gross for them.  Better than sitting around, but cleaning doesn't give me the emotional boost that walking outside does.

What I ate Sunday and Monday

Sunday
Breakfast: Chocolate Cheerios with 30 cal. almond milk
                  Small slice of cheese pizza

Lunch: Fritos (large handful)
             Chips and guacamole (I didn't take a picture since I was eating with my husband and he thinks taking pictures of ones food is about the weirdest thing in the world.)

Snack: Nectarine

Dinner: Chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and ranch dressing

Note:  My husband made homemade brownies and I did not eat.  It wasn't as hard as it has been in the past.  Maybe I'm more dedicated this time?  Maybe I know I can have it again once I reach my goal?

Monday
Breakfast:  toast with strawberry cream cheese
                  toast with cottage cheese and tomatoes

Lunch:  Two onion rings from Burger King (7th grader had an orthodontist appointment and I took him to lunch so though I didn't want to eat Burger King food, I did want a couple of onion rings.)

Taco Salad - made with grass fed beef/lentils, tomatoes, cottage cheese, salsa, corn chips.

Snack: peach ~80cal.

2 packets of Florida's Natural Fruit Snacks 2 x 80cal.

Dinner: Cafe Rio Pork Taco on wheat ale cart

Weight loss Journey Starts Now - Today - Wish me Luck!

I have a family blog at Our Small World.  I blog there about being a stay at home mom of four boys and all of our adventures.  Come check it out!

But this blog is where you are going to see a transformation of me.
It starts today.

Avoid sweets and chips until I'm at my goal weight. (149)

That's my one goal.
That is the one thing I'm going to focus on.
I'm going to think about great meals - great food.
I'm going to think about travel and clothes and all the things that I love.
I'm not going to think about junk food - food that is not only bad for me, but it also makes me feel so sad about myself.  I really don't like it ever as much as I anticipate.  I guess it's like sin - it's appeal is big, but the truth is that is doesn't satisfy.

I'll check back in with you soon.

Starting weight - 168

More of my plan

If I plan on having a little bit of sweets every day, I think about sweets and crave it all day long.  So I'm going to just cut them out - for awhile.  Until I can get a handle on things.  I may have them on Sunday, but I will make sure there are none left in our house for the week or I know it will be tempting for me.

I also make most of my mistakes in the afternoon so I'm going to rearrange my eating schedule.  It will be as follows.
Morning - lemon water with cayenne pepper
8:00 Breakfast
11:30 Lunch (started off with veggies or salad)
1:30 Snack
3:30 Snack
5:30 Dinner

Only eat when it is time and eat sitting down.  Food will be quality with lots of protein.

I will plan out my food every morning or evening.

So in review
Sweets on Sunady - Extras will be given away or packed away for kids.
Only eat when it is time.  (Sleep in the afternoon if I have to.)
Sit down and eat slowly.
Plan out my food everyday and have a plan before the day begins.  Go to the store if needed.
Write down when I do something great.

Sad MBA Weekend

My husaband has been applying to business school.  It has been a long 4 months of study, essays and waiting.  This Friday we found out from the last school that he did not get it.  This is what he really wants to do.  This is a great path to our future, but right now it is not an option.  We are at a loss as to where to go next.  I believe that a door will open, but right now we are seeing walls and doors locked tight.  The future is hard to plan and to see.  It is dark.  I know that sometimes you have to step into the darkness before you see the light.  That is what we are doing.  We are researching, looking, asking questions to people.  We are moving forward and praying.

So, once we found out the news, well, I gave myself a weekend long of "I can eat any thing I want" attitude.  The truth is that I can always eat whatever I want.  I can eat junk and I can eat lots of food without limits and self imposed "rules".  I can choose that.  The problem is that I CAN'T choose the outcome of such living.  And the outcome showed on the scale today.  I can rationalize all the reasons that it is okay to not eat the way I have planned, but the end result cannot be avoided.  It is the law of nature.  I need to remember that I can feel intitled to food.  I can cope with food.  But the end result will be disappointment.  Next time I am sad, I hope that I can keep things in perspective and know that if I eat too much I will, in the end, become more sad than I was to begin with.

Once again, here are my goals.
Eat Slowly.  Enjoy every bite.  Sit down.
Read my response cards and reasons for why - every morning and night.
Eat a salad or vegetable before lunch and dinner.
Eat five times a day - no seconds.

Make Good Use of the Time You Have

"Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness."
- Jean de la Bruyere, 17th century French essayist

It is not a matter of having time; it is a matter of making time.  It is about prioritizing.  It is about spending time on things that matter most.  My body matters to me.  It is the home of my spirit.  I'm taking the time to take care of it because as I improve my body, my spirit will have room to expand.

Day 8 - 40 Day Challenge

I'm feeling pretty bad right now. I ate so much junk today. When I eat right I feel right. I have more energy and more optimism. This is not the case today. I didn't live true to my body. It was my youngest son's birthday and I went to town with the junk. Plus, a lady at church gave me some of her favorite Canadian candy bars to try. They were good and I ate a lot of them. One alone was 300 calories. That was my favorite, Mr. Big. Yum. For my son's cake, my husband made my favorite homemade cake, carrot cake. It was so good. I feel so stuffed. It is uncomfortable. My perception of my thighs is that they must be two inches bigger from today and my birthday three days ago, but I'm logic tells me they are not. Even if they were, I'm still getting back to my plan. I fell. It hurts. I'm a bit sad. When I eat this way I fee down on my ability to lose weight. When I eat right, I know it will come off if I'm patient and just follow the plan. We will be traveling for the next three days, but I feel like I can do it. It is easier to stay 100% true to the plan than to stay 98% true because then you start slipping.

So right now I'm getting back up because I'm a fighter and fighters always get up. It doesn't matter how badly they're hurt, they get up and that is what I'm doing.

Ding the bell, I'm back in the ring. Ready to Fight.

Focusing on me, focuses on them

I have four boys under the age of eight.
We are building a new home and are acting as our general contractor.
My husband sold his business and is now starting a new job at a start-up company.
My one year old still does not sleep through the night.
I home school our children.
I eat when I'm tired, stressed and overwhelmed. (Things that happen often.)

So that is where I'm starting.

I am 5'6" tall.
I weigh 170lbs.
I want to weigh 140.

I want to eat more healthful foods.

The reasons I want to loose the weight are...

1. There are not many people around here that homeschool and they have a preconcieved idea that homeschooling moms are frumpy and weird. I would like to look good so I can be an example that home schooling is do-able and we're not weird.

2. When I eat under control I feel better about myself. When you feel good about yourself you are more patient and kind to others.

3. I love fashion and I would like to wear cute stuff that looks cute on me.

Here are the ways I plan on achieving this goal.

I need to be more regimented - this is something I did very well until I had children.

Each Sunday I will plan what I will eat for the next week (Saturday is when we do our shopping so I have to plan in advance).

I will also plan on the calendar -
weekly out time: visit the library and read, shop, shop on-line, blog on-line, go with friends, etc. (this helps me want to be thin - even if I'm shopping for books, kids clothes, or home decor and even if I don't buy anything - just regrouping)

weekly date: I long for a good relationship there - connection helps me not eat to try to get that.

monthly temple: this always makes me feel good

Each Morning-
I will exercise
Read Beck Diet Solution tips, blogs and response cards
Write down my food for the day
Get Ready for the day

During the Babies Nap-
Response cards, goals and pictures
I will read scriptures (20 min)
clean the house
do the laundry
cook dinner
then if there is time I will work on my 'to do' list and alternate it with
organization (10 min)
blog journal (15 min)
scrapbook (10 min) I put pictures in slip covers and every now nad then I type a story to go with a picture.
email
write - either for my blog, journal or scrapbook (20 min)
visit other blogs (10 min)
Read - if there is any other time which there usually isn't.

After dinner is reserved to do outside cleaning and tidy
Around 8:00 I will get myself ready for bed (teeth, face, pray). Then I will read or spend time with my kids. At 9:00 we will pray and get the kids ready for bed. Then I read my book of choice (10 min) and then my response cards, goals and reasons.

If I eat what is on my card I know I will lose weight. Dr. Beck says to weigh yourself every day, but I know that I work better if I don't weigh, but just follow my plan.

My goal is to be 145 by January 1st.

I have to do these things. I have to be strong. I have to be selfish. I have to look out for me. I don't want to be a fat person - that is not how I pictured my life.