To Train Up A Child - Book Review

To Train up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl - Book Review

This is a bit long, but I think it is an important subject. Originally, I had posted each section separately, but I have since combined them for continuity. If you are pressed for time, go ahead and read each section individually.

The biggest lesson I have learned is this: Do not judge something until you have heard both sides of the story. To do this, one must research. To research correctly one must go to a reputable sourc. You cannot get the entire truth if your source is an enemy of the subject and if the source has conflicting interests.

I have several areas where this is applicable and I will explain.
1. Child Rearing
2. People
3. Religion

I have to admit that I was a part of the “No Spanking” club when I first had children. Then I moved to the “No Spanking, Except on Very Rare Occasions”. I thought spanking was mean. Oh, how my ignorance must have shown to those who properly used the switch! (Not to the “No Spankers” because they wanted to believe all I had stated.)

All the child rearing things I had learned were from my own parents and also from pop psychology child discipline books. I never bothered to even learn about the other side and its techniques.

My eyes were opened when I read, To Train Up a Child. The parenting in this book is not mean, but filled with compassion and composure. This is a book that methodically explains how to rear children with love, patience, self-control, and happiness and to be a happy family. The people who correctly use the switch do not do it in anger, and as a matter of fact, they explicitly explain to NEVER DISCIPLINE IN ANGER. (How many people who don’t spank can say they don’t discipline in anger.)

So where do I now stand on the spectrum? The jury is still out. I’m still not using the switch, but I’m trying to enforce complete obedience and having a negative consequence as a result of disobedience.

Now that I have the whole story, I believe that parenting and discipline is an individual thing. No one has the right to judge if it is too harsh or too lax. Each family must anwer to God about how they raise their children and so each family must pray to God for guidance. Whether you use “time-outs” or the switch, self-control is to be demonstrated and no punishment should take place until it is. How will your children learn self-control if you can’t even demonstrate it?

I could speak for hours about this book. I won’t. Every parent could benefit from reading this book even if you choose other forms of discipline because it is not just a book about discipline. It may not change the way you do things in your home, but it will change the way you perceive things.

If you want to learn about certain parenting techniques and one side paints the opposing side negatively, I suggest you research both sides and then you can make an educated conclusion. I also feel the same about people.

2. People
This is simple and I’m sure we have all experienced this. If we want to know why someone did something or anything about someone, we need to go to that person. If we ask someone else we may not get the whole story. Even worse, we may get half-truths and end up with false ideas of the person. If you read my blog you will see that I memorize different quotes and scriptures. I recently memorized one from Shakespeare.

“Good name in man and women is the immediate jewel of their souls.
Who steals my purse steals trash.
But he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.”

How precious is our name! How easily is it robbed! Do not do this unfairness. Go to the source. Do not get information from others – especially those who may be that person’s enemy – you will not get the truth and your conclusions will be incorrect.

3. Religion
I love religion. It is what has made me who I am. I have read books that have taught me about different religions. I have learned about Jews, Buddhists and Hindus as well as certain Christian faiths. Learning about other beliefs has strenthened my personal views. I read books written by people of that particular religion. It would not be fair to read a Christian book written by a Buddhist who thought Christianity was a bunch of bunk. I would not get the complete story. It would not be fair to ask a Rabi to teach me all he knows about Catholicism. Let members of each group teach you and then come to your own educated conclusion.

You may become a better follower of Christ by learning and understanding, with compassion, the beliefs of other religions. An often misunderstood religion and the victim of slander is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This is a church that has several million members and is often misrepresented by other religions. Many people are curious about this religion because the members believe in the same church as it was organized in the Bible. See Scripture References. For more info go here. For more info on any other subject or religion, go to their home page. Be fair and get the correct story.

All I'm asking is that when we fix our opinions about a subject, person, or religion just make sure you recieved all the information. Do not go to a third party as a resource. Education is the pathway to compassion and understanding.

Thanks for reading!